At just 13 years old I began taking Pharmaceuticals for Depression and Anxiety. It wasn’t long until I could feel myself changing into a different person. I didn’t experience empathy, I was losing interest in things I would usually enjoy and my sense of humor was gone. I felt as if I was living my life on auto pilot; I was there physically but not emotionally. I was on and off of medication throughout my teen years and during that time I was also consuming cannabis recreationally. It wasn’t until I was 19 I decided I couldn’t live my life that way and ditched the pills for good. With the combination of therapy and Cannabis, I’d found myself again. I was blossoming into a whole new woman. I found myself gaining confidence, enjoying life and no longer wanting off this earth.
I never hid my use of Cannabis nor felt ashamed. It was just something I did regularly and everyone knew. When I had my son at 25 it was the first time I began to worry.
Would people think of me as irresponsible, a bad mother, would I not be able to make “Mom friends” or worse would other Moms not let their kids play with mine?
The more I used Cannabis to help me climb out of the dark hole we call PPD I realized it was my anxiety talking. Cannabis helps me be in the moment with my son while worrying about the messes later. It helps me be more reasonable and open to touch, making me a better version of myself. How could a plant that helps me so much be so bad?
After living in a new state for a year I decided it was time to start doing something for me. I created an Instagram @wholetmebeamom and started a blog where I wrote about my thoughts and experience with Cannabis and Motherhood. Cannabis Cactus Magazine reached out asking if I could write an article for them. After the article was printed I received a lot of supportive feedback from all types of Moms expressing how they also felt alone and how much they appreciated me speaking out and that’s when I knew what my calling was.
My name is Sabrina you can find me at @wholetmebeamom where I share my experiences to reach Mothers alike in hopes they don’t feel alone and become more confident in their Canna-Mom Journey. My purpose is to do my part to end the stigma by empowering women to educate themselves, to stand up to the negativity of Cannabis by proving it to be wrong, to make the right choices for their mental/physical health even if their loved ones don’t agree. I’m here to show my support no matter what stage they are in their Cannabis Journey and whether it’s recreational or medicinal.
Breaking the stigma is making sure the shame that hovers over Cannabis is a thing of the past. It’s okay to consume Cannabis. Still, the key to being a pro-active Canna-parent is educating yourself, knowing your limits, having open conversations, and being a good role model.
If we are going to be the change, we need to lead by example.