The Journey That Led Me To Cannabis

My journey to cannabis started in 2016. The year before that in 2015, I had just become a new mother to my now 5 year old son, Kai. I was ecstatic to become a mother - it was everything I ever dreamed of: having a family of my own, having a great husband by my side. It was perfect to anyone looking on the outside in. But truthfully, about a year after I had my son is really when I started to experience postpartum depression and anxiety. I had never had these emotions to such an extent before in my life. I have always been a person of caution and being careful in life, still trying new things but staying as safe as possible, not being too wild with my life choices. But after having my son I became afraid to do anything. I was sad often and had intrusive thoughts of the worst possible situations. Even if my husband said “Hey i'm going to the store”, my mind would be like “NOOOO don't go".

I was always in a fight or flight mode and I hated it.

Of course I knew of cannabis prior to this but it was never something I thought would help as much as it has. Another thing that I was dealing with was weight issues. I had gained so much wait after giving birth, it was a horrible time for me. I didn't feel beautiful. I hated trying to get dressed for anything because nothing looked nice on me, so I thought.  I just really lost my self esteem.  But the other issues that i dealt with after giving birth was that I developed chronic pain on my hips and my leg that was injured in a past car/bike accident, which was starting to affect my everyday abilities.

Once I turned 21 in 2016, after my husband and I got married, I ventured out into a cannabis dispensary and bought my first 8th. I don't remember what strain it was exactly, but what I do know is that after consuming cannabis for a while, I started to feel better in ways that I wasn't before. I started enjoying life again, wanting to do things and not over-thinking so much anymore. Cannabis uplifted my moods. I felt more in control of my thoughts and able to let things go. I even started my weight loss journey and I am so happy to say now I am at a good weight again. I feel happy and in control.

My chronic pain seems to be progressing as time goes on, but cannabis has helped me manage it. I no longer have to just deal with back spasms because I stood up too long while doing the dishes, or dealing with the pain of trying to do laundry - but can't because the act of lifting and setting down the laundry basket will cause pain.

I no longer have to suffer with hip pain after taking a walk with my family. Now when I do those things, I just medicate beforehand and I'm all good.

I use a mix of cbd and thc. I believe with both cannabinoids combined, it does wonderful help.

The drive I have behind cannabis and being a mom that uses it, and is open about it, came from when I first started social media. I was trying to find a community where I was here in Oregon. I didn't see many black moms, if I am being honest, and didn't see a presence of black mothers who openly talk about cannabis. I wanted to be that face for other black moms to know that: yes, you can live a normal life and still consume cannabis. Many of us hide in the canna-closet because of family trauma and the stigma surrounding cannabis. After moving to Oregon I have learned so much about this plant and I just want to pass it on to all mothers. In today's time, cannabis has been produced in many ways that can suit anyone’s lifestyle. My goal is to educate first and show that you can be a responsible cannamom.